I Was Waiting to Feel Confident Before I Started
I kept waiting to feel confident enough to speak in class. Once I started speaking while still nervous, it slowly became normal and the confidence came later.
If you only have a minute.
- Situation
- I kept waiting to feel confident enough to speak in class. Once I started speaking while still nervous, it slowly became normal and the confidence came later.
- What they tried
- I stopped trying to become "confident.
- What they learned
- Sometimes you don't need to feel ready first. You do the uncomfortable thing a few times, survive it, and then your brain finally stops treating it like a disaster.
A TURNING POINT“Sometimes you don't need to feel ready first.”
Problem
I used to have answers in class and still not raise my hand. I would literally know what the teacher was asking. Sometimes I had already worked it out in my notebook. But then I'd start thinking. What if I say it badly? What if it's obvious? What if I'm wrong and everyone looks at me? So I'd wait. And usually someone else would say exactly what I was thinking.
Struggle
The annoying thing was that I kept telling myself I would start speaking once I became more confident. That sounded reasonable. Except nothing was happening to make me more confident. I was basically waiting for confidence to arrive while doing the exact thing that kept me scared. There were days where I didn't say a single thing even though I wanted to. Then I'd go home annoyed at myself.
Action
I stopped trying to become "confident." That goal was too vague anyway. I gave myself one rule instead: Say one thing in class. Could be an answer. Could be a question. Didn't have to be impressive. The first few times, I still got nervous. Once I answered something incorrectly and immediately wanted the floor to swallow me. The teacher corrected me. Then class continued. Nobody cared. That helped more than getting an answer right.
Outcome
Speaking in class slowly became less of an event. I still think before I raise my hand, but now it's usually about the answer rather than whether everyone will judge me. And I realised something slightly irritating. The confidence I was waiting for came after I started speaking. Not before.
The lesson
Sometimes you don't need to feel ready first. You do the uncomfortable thing a few times, survive it, and then your brain finally stops treating it like a disaster.
