I Stopped Waiting for Life to Feel Normal Again
In my first year of B.Tech, anxiety, panic attacks and unexplained health problems made even normal college life hard. I eventually stopped waiting to feel completely “normal” and started trying small things again, even when some of them didn’t work out.
Where it started
In my first year of B.Tech, I started getting panic attacks and bad anxiety. I was also dealing with physical health problems that nobody could really explain. There were a lot of hospital visits. At times, I couldn’t walk properly or focus on anything. I even thought about leaving college.
Where I got stuck
The worst part was probably not knowing what was happening to me. I was away from my family, staying in a hostel, trying to manage college and all of this at the same time. Some days, even going to a normal class felt hard. And when people around me didn’t really understand what I was going through, it made things worse.
What changed
At some point, I realised I was waiting for my life to become “normal” again before I started doing things. That wasn’t working. So I stopped thinking about everything together and just focused on one thing at a time. I started trying things again. I did hackathons, worked on projects, attended events and took up some responsibilities outside academics. My team reached the final round of the Sanrakshan Competition at Techfest 2024, IIT Bombay. I also attended events at IIT Kanpur and other IITs, later judged projects for Technovation Girls, took up Campus Ambassador roles and participated in NASA Space Apps Challenge 2025.
After that
Not everything worked out. I got approval to organise a TEDx event after waiting for around three months, but the event never happened and the license was eventually cancelled. I was also selected for a poster presentation at IISc Bengaluru but couldn’t go because of the distance and not getting train tickets. Earlier, things like that might have made me stop trying. Now, I just try something else.
What stayed with me
I still don’t think everything suddenly became fine. I just stopped waiting for it to. For me, trying again, even when things didn’t go as planned, was probably the biggest change.
